Wednesday June 9th - Hijacked in Pattaya.

I have discovered a new tool in which I will link my photos to words so its easy for description.... click on fellow man!

As I wipe the sweat from my brow and get settled into my well air
conditioned office I reflect on the things I have seen and done and
the emotions that have passed over the last few days. Lets see, the
last time I was able to write was Friday day time. For you folks back
in the land of plenty, the good ol USofA, that would be Thursday
night.Since then I have been incomunicado! I was hijacked I tell you!
but... In the nicest of ways with the best intentions and in sharing
with me a plethora of new experiences. Lets see... We start our
journey on Friday night. Zach, my American comrade and only confidant
here, and I decided that we were very tired and were going to go home
and nap a little, then get dinner and then head home early because we
were scheduled to meet up with our Thai connection (Lex and Lisa, not
their real names but every one here in Thailand has nick names given
to them by parents, friends relatives etc... Zachs is now Uan,
pronounced like Juan minus the J and mine is Yuang, pronounced like
"yoooang. Given to us by Lex's grannie and mom Khun Maa and Khun Yay)
anyways, we were slated to meet up with them to catch a bus to Pattaya
to hit the beach and have a little R'n'R, not Rock N Roll... Rest and
Relaxation.. ok maybe a little Rockin out cause Zach and I BRING THE
PARTY HAY!!! So we were supposed to meet up with them at the bus
station in Ekamai (eee-ka-my) station at 8:30 sharp....

4:00pm friday night: Q House Lumpini Tower, my place of work, one of the nicest
business buildings in Bangkok: I submitted some research on existing
reasons that JApan, the EU, Canada, Malaysia and Korea created
regulations to restrict and control toxic chemicals and their import
and export and how these are similar to Thailand for the Thai Govt to
enact some of these same rules. (for a good example see REACH
regulation EU clicky) to my supervisor Khun Ann ( real name Dr. Rachda) and she came to my desk with some paper and pencil to go over some ideas for a powerpoint
with the info I submitted. She seemed happy with the work. After going
over some sketches she informed me that I'd be starting a new project
and that we have a meeting in an hour about presenting to Phillip
Morris Asia about creating a new tax structure for the import of their
brand of cigarettes.

*side note - DId you know that cigarette packs here have large
pictures of disgusting, bleeding, infected, puss filled and deadly
cancerous tumors on one side of every pack... hmmm....

I prepared for the meeting by doing a little research on the history
of Phillip Morris in SE Asia. During this research I got a call from
Lex asking if I wanted to join her and Lisa and her two friends for
dinner right after work. I agreed.

5:00pm - The meeting went well, the presentation was good and they had
to do it in English so they were interested in my input and thoughts.
I find it interesting the values that Thai business people find
strengths and weaknesses as opposed to what American business people
value as strengths and weaknesses.

6:00pm - Met Lex at the "On Nut" BTS
Skytrain station and she suggested we go to Silom district to get some sushi. I
agreed cause I love sushi. BY THE GODS I LOVE SUSHU!!!
Being Friday night Silom Road was very crowded.
We could not get a taxi to save our lives or an ambulence if we were dying I spose.
So we had to walk.. Now walking here is a necessity. Travel around the city takes a long time cause traffic is sooo very terrible. Not terrible like anywhere in the states and I have been to almost every state.
You can expect to be in the car for an hour to go for only half a
mile.

Anyways.. Its a good thing that I brought an extra shirt because i had
sweat through the one I was wearing and looked like I was soaked.
Sick! The worst thing is that Lex, being Thai, like all Thai's was
barely sweating and telling me it was just a little bit farther. It
seems to be the Thai way to never tell you a plan, or what exactly is
going on or whats happening. I always have to ask like 20 times to get
any answers to anything. The hrase "What is the plan now.. right now" has to be repeated multiple time to the annoyance of everybody.

So after a long long walk we made it to a very cool Japanese buffet.
It really, literally had everything you could ever want that was
Japanese. Sushi of many types, soups, cooked food, everything! It was
pretty amazing. Zach called and asked where I was and
that he was with another American traveler and asked if they could
meet up. Cool Cool. Now.. Directions. Impossible in BKK. (Bangkok)
Once again going back to Thai people having a hard time discussing any
plans, places, doings etc... About an hour later they found us only to
find out that the Thai's had decided to go somewhere else close to
where they just came from........ DOH!!!!

After walking for ever to meet with Lex's friends we settled on a
brittish style pub. The beer was expensive but well deserved and
needed after trekking across Bangkok following dark haired midgets
with no answers for us "planning Americans" around. If only we could
speak Thai or at least know where we were. Bangkok is a huge and
unending array of streets, alleys and strange passages.

Lex's friends showed up. One was her friend "Lisa" another regular
Thai girl. The other was "Anya", a more sexy dressing Thai girl with a
taste for brittish boys and the other was a ladyboy that had recently
had the surgery to become fully a lady. She had breasts and no weenie
and was still in the process of total transformation with hormones and
suck. She was quite convincing but a little off. Zach and I could tell
right away. No beer goggles for that one! (Anya and ladyboy)

* side note about lady boys. Here in Thailand, ladyboys are seen as
beautiful, curvy and sexy people. It is a very open population where
gay, lesbians, ladyboys and strait people all walk around and do the
same things in the open. Ladyboys are often considdered the third sex
here and thought of as advantaged because they have the best of all
worlds.

So, anyhow... One thing led to another, one beer became two, San
Miguels (Beer from the Philippines) were flowing, and Zach and I got
home later then anticipated and didn't end up going to bed until
2:30am.

Ring Ring! THe alarm once again decided to royally annoy me at 6am on
Saturday morning. Damn, Not again I thought. Why does 6am always have
to come around, and why must the clocks insist on telling me in very
loud and annoying ways. This topped by an annoying visitor.

*side note about young well-off american girls..... If you are one of
these or know one, i encourage you to stop acting like you know the
world, stop acting like you can answer every question confidently,
stop trying to shape the plans of everyone around you to suit your
ever changing feelings, stop using this pushed voice to sound nice and
interested only to manipulate things for yourself, stop expecting
everything for free because you are a young pretty girl only still
thin because you are young (worry, you will start blimping out within
5 years and you will start having to develop a personality to keep
people interested in you). Bottom line, be quiet for once.

So we got to the bus station by BTS skytrain, boarded the bus and set
off for Pattaya. It was nice and air conditioned. 130baht for the
whole ride (maybe $5). We were told it was a 2 hour ride. About an
hour and a half in Lex disappeared the the front... I was all kicked
back and comfy with my shoes off and seat back watching the lush green
scenery and buildings go by. Just about to fall asleep. Lex comes back
and tells us that we need to get off now cause were stopping off a
little early to have lunch with her mom (Khun Ma). OK, so I had to
hurry and grab my things. Zach looked at me and smiled knowing that
this was just another surprise in a long series of surprises. Down the
rabbit hole we go!

Our first stop was dinner under a shade of beautiful trees on the edge
of a beach. I could stare off into the distance and see clam and crab
farms. We let our Thai friends order for us as usual. As usual about
15 plates came out with everything from fried fish (with the head and
scales on of course) to bar-b-q'd soft shell crabs that you eat whole.
It was a feast of epic per portions. In Thai cooking there are four
flavors: sour, sweet, creamy and salty. I have come to love the
balance of every dish and how they craftily use sometimes all four to
make a wonderful dish. I shall miss this when i am gone. This was a
nice and peaceful time. Thai service is unbeatable. It seams that
every little place employs a bunch of people. A little cafe in America
would have the owner and maybe one person helping. A cafe of the same
size here will have at least 7 to 10 people working and doing things.
If your glass gets half empty, they fill it up with ninja like skill.
If you finish your plate they sneak it off the table leaving you
wondering where it went. Its pretty amazing.

Our second stop was a floating market. This was ok. It seemed to me
that it was set up primarily for tourists to feel like they were at a
real Bangkok floating market and maybe to learn a little of the
popular culture. Most of the stuff for sale is just tourist junk. I
think the biggest thing that I would like to share with people at home
is the lifestyle here. This is something I cant buy but can maybe
describe. At this point Zach and I were getting a bit antsy. Were not
much for shopping for souvenirs or for walking the tourist hangouts. I
really wanted to hit up a little bar and maybe eat a little, drink a
little and chat it up with the locals. Back to the car we go.

At this point we thought we were going to finally get a hotel and
decompress a little. True? Nooooooo! We circled the same terrible
traffic twice and then pulled into a parking lot with a very large and
fancy building. It looked very plush and flamboyant. It was called
Tiffanys. It is a cabaret review with some loud music and grand
costumes and the most beautiful lady.... boys that Thailand has to
offer. Thats right! I said it.. Ladyboys! Someones mom and grandma
took us to see a ladyboy review. Now, I must comment. There were
moments that I seriously couldn't believe my eyes.... or my mind. Some
of these ladyboys were actually extremely hot like ultra women. The
beautiful looks of a girl with the mentality of a man? Is this like
some sort of super hero? I dont know. Needless to say.. I left
speechless and in thought. Zach and I just looked at each other with a
half grin half sickened look and sighed. What is teh future of this
third sex? This changed everything!!! No I am scared to even talk to a
Thai woman for fear it might be, or was, or will be a man??? This is
too much. Beer me now.

So we finally got back to the traffic filled street that led to our
hotel (3rd times a charm) and tensions were kind of high. Zack and I
were tired and wanted an air conditioned bar. The two Thai girls I
think wanted food and maybe to walk around... and the american girl
wanted a bi-poler dream come true. So she told everyone to get out and
walk. After my warning that it was very far she still pushed for this.
I really dont know why either because of a hurt foot and kind of
crappy mood. A really long walk in hot weather with high humidity and
a hurt foot doesn't make for fun.

Finally, the girls decided to take motorcycles to the hotel and Zack
and I made for the closest bar. Hey its the Hard Rock Cafe
Thailand.... land of the sliding inflated beer prices... Who cares, we
are about a mile away from walking street (destination of the super
party, hookers, dirty shows, kick boxing bars, dance clubs, hooka...
its other name is sin city) and we NEEDed a little swill. In we go,
once again a Thai band with some very pretty Thai girls singing are
doing american covers... including "Im proud to be an american" WTF?
and we ordered our beer. It was very expensive. We drank, we saw, we
left.

Just outside of walking street some hot bar girls were calling us in
as they do to every "farang" walking by. Normally we would just walk
by but I noticed guys Thai boxing and other people betting on them,
FUN!!! We went and sat and drank. What a good thing a Thai bar girl is
to a guys ego, is this paradise I thought to myself.. only if you
believe that the girls really DONT want your money, the Thai boxers
really "ARE" having fun and getting paid, the friendliness really "IS
NOT" just cause you are American and you are their target audience.
HAHA. OK I'll believe just for a second, let myself feel as though I
am supers special to everyone in that bar for that moment. I am not a
walking bulging wallet. We stayed for a bit and had fun but then
carried on to walking street where a guy continued to try to get us to
pay for a show to see a girl put a pink pong ball in her most private
(well not any more) of areas and shoot it into a cup. We declined and
went on to a dance club. Zach and I ordered hookah and some beers that
apparently came with free shots. TEQUILA!!!! There were some pretty
hot girls there too but it is so scary to look at girls in Thailand in
certain areas for fear that they are hookers just trying to get your
money, or that they are ladyboys.. RUN RUN RUN! After smoking the
hookah we were feeling quite spent and information overload and tired
of all the sales pitches meant for half retarded brits (ps. I think I
have a real chip on my shoulder about British people after meeting so
many of them here and them just being rude, low class, smelly, dirty
shit talkin losers for the most part, and most look inbred hahaha im
sure this is not all brits, just the well off holiday drunks) and 50
year old scummy desperate vets looking for an 18 yer old Thai girl to
forget that they are old and mentally mamed.... We went back to the
kick boxing bar. It wasn't crowded, the drinks were cheap, the staff
was nice and not overly sales-manly and it was air conditioned. The
boxing bar was great, we met the owner, a pretty Thai lady about 40s
who kept buying us whisky shots, I think because we werent the usual
desperate americans and treated them like people not purchased slaves.

Well, that is all for now, this was long and long. Time to meet Zach
at MBK and get dinner and a lovely 3 liter of Singha!!!

Anyway, thats all for now.. I will be adding a section to the blog calls "Zach Says" to give a little of his insight.

The R.